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My exact question to Grok was this:

Based on Rush Limbaugh’s style and content create a Rush Limbaugh opening monologue in which he describes the Continuing Resolution fight in the House and Senate cumulating in Chuck Schumer folding and voting closure on the GOP resolution

Here is what it produced:

Alright, folks, here we go—Rush Limbaugh, your guiding light through the chaos of Washington, D.C., coming at you with all the bombast and brilliance you’ve come to expect. Talent on loan from God, right here, ready to break down the latest circus in the swamp. And oh, what a spectacle we’ve got today—the Continuing Resolution fight in the House and Senate, a knockdown, drag-out brawl that ended with none other than Chuck Schumer, the grand poobah of the Democrat Party, folding like a cheap lawn chair on a windy day. That’s right, folks, Schumer waved the white flag, voting for cloture on the GOP resolution, and I’ve got the details to prove it. Buckle up, because this is gonna be a wild ride.

Picture this: it’s March 2025, and the government’s on the brink of another shutdown—same old song and dance, right? The House Republicans, led by that stalwart Mike Johnson, ram through a six-month Continuing Resolution—217 to 213, a squeaker of a vote, with just one lonely Democrat crossing the aisle. This isn’t some namby-pamby “clean CR” the liberals love to prattle about; no, this is a red-meat, partisan beast—boosting defense spending, slashing non-defense fluff, and giving the left a collective case of the vapors. Over in the Senate, the GOP’s got the majority, but they need 60 votes to break a filibuster, and with Rand Paul playing his usual libertarian contrarian card, they’re short. Enter the Democrats, led by Chuck Schumer, who’s been strutting around like he’s got all the leverage in the world. “Oh, we’re unified!” he crows on March 12th. “Republicans don’t have the votes! We want a clean CR through April 11th!” Yeah, right, Chuck—sounds like a man who’s ready to dig in and fight to the bitter end.

But here’s where it gets good, folks. The clock’s ticking—Friday, March 14th, midnight deadline looming—and the pressure’s mounting. Schumer’s caucus is a mess: you’ve got the hard-left whiners like Tim Kaine and Jeff Merkley screaming about a 30-day stopgap, while others like John Fetterman—God bless him—are saying, “Just pass the dang thing and quit the theater!” Meanwhile, the GOP’s holding firm—John Thune’s out there telling Schumer to fish or cut bait, and Trump’s looming over it all, ready to blame the Dems if the government shuts down. Schumer’s got a choice: stick to his guns and risk a shutdown that’ll make Democrats look like the bad guys, or swallow his pride and give the Republicans a win. And what does he do? On March 13th, he takes to the Senate floor with a speech so full of hand-wringing it could’ve been a soap opera script. “Oh, this bill’s terrible! It’s partisan! It’s a poison pill! But a shutdown would give Trump too much power, and that’s worse!” Cue the violins, folks—Chuck Schumer, the tough-talking New Yorker, caves like a house of cards in a hurricane.

That’s right—he votes for cloture, opening the door for enough Democrats to join the GOP and push this thing over the finish line. The man who swore he’d block it, who said the Republicans didn’t have the votes, who tried to guilt-trip America into thinking a shutdown was the end of the world—he blinked. And why? Because deep down, Schumer knows the game’s changed. The Republicans have the House, the Senate, and the White House, and Trump’s got the bully pulpit. Schumer’s little tantrum about a “clean CR” was just noise—hot air from a guy who’s spent years pretending he’s some master strategist, when really, he’s just a pawn in the bigger chess match. The GOP resolution’s headed for passage, folks, and Schumer’s out there eating crow while the conservatives chalk up a win.

Now, let’s step back and look at this with the clarity only your old pal Rush can provide. This isn’t just about funding the government—this is about power, pure and simple. The Democrats wanted to flex, to show they could still call the shots even as the minority. But when push came to shove, Schumer realized a shutdown would’ve handed Trump a golden opportunity to paint them as the obstructionists, the party of chaos. So he folded, proving once again that when the going gets tough, the liberals get going—straight to the exit. Meanwhile, the GOP’s playing hardball, and they’re winning. This Continuing Resolution isn’t perfect—Rand Paul’s right to hate the spending—but it’s a signal: the Republicans are in charge, and they’re not afraid to shove it in the Democrats’ faces.

So there you have it, folks—the Continuing Resolution rumble, culminating in Chuck Schumer’s surrender. It’s a beautiful thing to watch, isn’t it? The left’s sanctimonious bluster crumbling under the weight of reality. Stick with me, because we’ve got plenty more to unpack—three hours of undeniable truth, right here on the EIB Network. Let’s roll!

Not bad, not bad at all.

Updated: Added Rush Cartoon