Posts Tagged ‘irony’

Obama rewards the Zombies

Posted: May 15, 2009 by datechguy in oddities, opinion/news
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You know we had a lot of fun with Zombie Jokes (via Gimmie 5 cents) here, first we reported on Zombie Unemployment:

Joblessness up 20% among Zombie Population Many claim discrimination in favor of the living.

Then we talked about Massachusetts taxing and rewarding Zombies:

Massachusetts uses a different means of determining eligibility for unemployment. Under their constitution, the Commonwealth is able to tax the dead and undead alike, making Ms. Glass eligible for state-funded retraining, health benefits, and Affirmative-Action based job placement.

“I thank God for the Socialist Republik Commonwealth of Massachusetts,” Ms. Glass says. “If I unlived elsewhere, I wouldn’t even count as a person.”

Then we saw the White House Zombie appointment:

Among growing concern over jobless rates and and basic civil rights for America’s zombie population, the Obama administration announced this week the newly formed Department of Undead Affairs, to be headed by Chicago democrat Fred Murman, who has just been appointed as secretary.

Congress reacted:

“He may smell a bit but he has a heart of gold.”

Of course the appointment had tax issues:

An unexpected snag occurred today as members of the senate ethics committee uncovered documents related to Mr. Murman’s death, showing that his family never paid the required death or estate taxes associated with his death. Mr. Murman and his representatives were unavailable for comment on the allegations, brought forth this morning.

We had a lot of fun with these posts but who knew that it was all real:

This week, thousands of people are getting stimulus checks in the mail. The problem is that a lot of them are dead. A Long Island woman was shocked when she checked the mail and received a letter from the U.S. Treasury — but it wasn’t for her.

Antoniette Santopadre of Valley Stream was expecting a $250 stimulus check. But when her son finally opened it, they saw that the check was made out to her father, Romolo Romonini, who died in Italy 34 years ago. He’d been a U.S. citizen when he left for Italy in 1933, but only returned to the United Stated for a seven-month visit in 1969.

You know when they say that life is becoming impossible to parody. It’s getting that way isn’t it?

You know we never heard about this kind of thing actually happening…

Posted: May 8, 2009 by datechguy in internet/free speech, opinion/news
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…when president Bush was in charge:

Sixteen-year-old Ashton Lundeby’s bedroom in his mother’s Granville County home is nothing, if not patriotic. Images of American flags are everywhere – on the bed, on the floor, on the wall.

But according to the United States government, the tenth-grade home-schooler is being held on a criminal complaint that he made a bomb threat from his home on the night of Feb. 15.

Is there a chance that this kid is actually connected to the bad guys? Its not impossible or is it likely that he is being hacked? I don’t know but something smells.

Boyce said the Patriot Act was written with good intentions, but he said he believes it has gone too far in some cases. Lundeby’s might be one of them, he said.

“It very well could be a case of overreaction, where an agent leaped to certain conclusions or has made certain assumptions about this individual and about how serious the threat really is,” Boyce said.

Because a federal judge issued a gag order in the case, the U.S. attorney in Indiana cannot comment on the case, nor can the FBI. The North Carolina Highway Patrol did confirm that officers assisted with the FBI operation at the Lundeby home on March 5.

“Never in my worst nightmare did I ever think that it would be my own government that I would have to protect my children from,” Lundeby said. “This is the United States, and I feel like I live in a third world country now.”

As Classical Values from where I found the story says:

I think it’s time to reexamine or repeal the Patriot Act. Otherwise, because it is in the nature of power that those who have power will abuse it, we will only see more stories like this.

My gut says you don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater, a single bad application doesn’t make a law bad. The judge would have to be a real d*** to be covering up for a bad prosecution but it’s not impossible. If these guys are pulling BS to cover their rear ends they need to be nailed bad. The real point is this:

Don’t pass a law that you don’t trust your political opponents to enforce since eventually they are going to be in power. I’d like to think that the Obama administration can be trusted to enforce the laws fairly. I really would.

“Why didn’t someone just shoot the son of a bitch?”

Posted: May 8, 2009 by datechguy in amazon reviews, oddities, opinion/news
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I mentioned how the book Escape from Hell by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle is a great book for conservatives. Reading this story about the student who shot the home invader I can’t help but quote this passage from the book pages 150-151:

“And that one?” I pointed to a man up to his chin in boiling blood. He was screaming in agony so his face was distorted, but he looked Oriental.

“New one,” Billy said. “Seung, something like that. Went out and shot a bunch of people in the college he was at. Allen, it puzzles me that a man can shoot thirty-two full-grown men and women before the sheriff’s men gun him down. You’re more his time, maybe you can tell me. Why didn’t someone just shoot the son of a bitch?”

I scratched my head. Billy’s viewpoint seemed skewed, alien.

“Five of ’em where teachers,” Billy said. “They had to protect their kids. How could they now be armed? It’s as if someone has been taking away their guns.”

“It’s as if someone had taken away their guns.” Well they have been trying.

And if you haven’t bought the book yet, what are you waiting for?

No wonder the mainstream media loves Tom Ridge…

Posted: May 8, 2009 by datechguy in opinion/news
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…they always love republicans who won’t vote for republicans:

CHRIS MATTHEWS: If you had to vote between Toomey the conservative Republican or Specter the ex-Republican, who would you vote for?

TOM RIDGE: It’s a wonderful country, this America: it’s called secret ballot.

MATTHEWS: Come on!: aye or nay?

RIDGE: You got my answer, Chris: that’s hardball.

You know I don’t recall them having a lot of love for Ridge when he worked for homeland security in the Bush administration, but they will love him as long as he feeds the dog.

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