Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

By John Ruberry

In an op-ed from last month that was credited to the Washington Post editorial board–ominously, it was published to mark Thanksgiving Day–readers are warned about the continuous ideological divide among young people. 

Ideological polarization is now a mainstay of American politics. Millions of young Americans went home this Thanksgiving and potentially found themselves in uncomfortable situations with relatives — especially uncles, apparently — who love former president Donald Trump, hate vaccination or think the Jan. 6, 2021, Capitol insurrection had very fine people on both sides. 

Of course, the Washington Post doesn’t mention in that op-ed the many failed and unpopular leftist policies of the Joe Biden administration, such as reckless spending and an attack on fossil fuels that have caused the worst inflation rates in decades, open borders that have migrants sleeping in police stations and worse, an American-weakness approach to foreign affairs that has led to wars in Ukraine and Israel, and ramming anti-nature transgenderism down our throats.

Locally, our major cities are becoming unlivable because of rampant lawlessness caused by full-time criminals who are emboldened by catch-and-release Democratic so-called prosecutors. 

When, you are a liberal, you are never wrong. Never. Just ask a liberal about that.

More from that editorial:

The problem with polarization, though, is that it has effects well beyond the political realm, and these can be difficult to anticipate. One example is the collapse of American marriage. A growing number of young women are discovering that they can’t find suitable male partners. As a whole, men are increasingly struggling with, or suffering from, higher unemployment, lower rates of educational attainment, more drug addiction and deaths of despair, and generally less purpose and direction in their lives. But it’s not just that. There’s a growing ideological divide, too. Since Mr. Trump’s election in 2016, the percentage of single women ages 18-30 who identify as liberal has shot up from slightly over 20 percent to 32 percent. Young men have not followed suit. If anything, they have grown more conservative.

 However, that polarization is the fault of libs. Yes, I said it.

Look at what Axios, in a biased piece, said in 2021. The stats come from a Generation Lab/Axios poll:

Between the lines: Democrats argue that modern GOP positions, spearheaded by former President Trump — are far outside of the mainstream and polite conversation [bold print emphasis mine].

  • Some have expressed unyielding [again, my emphasis] positions on matters of identity — including abortion, LGBTQ rights and immigration — where they argue human rights, and not just policy differences, are at stake.

Women are more likely than men to take a strong partisan stance in their personal choices.

  • 41% of women would go on a date with someone who voted for the opposing candidate, compared to 67% of men.

A woman named Lyz, who has a Substack titled Men Yell at Me, doesn’t think the Post op-ed goes far-leftist enough. Her post has the headline “Liberal women should not marry Republican men.” Lyz used to be married to a conservative man. And her idea of “compromise” is that liberals–by now a theme will be apparent here–are always right. 

The use of the word “someone” here is particularly nefarious, because it’s not just “someone” being asked to compromise. It’s women. It’s women being chided for not partnering with men who do not agree that they should have the right to an abortion, equal pay, a living wage, and childcare for those inevitable children they ought to have. (Because, in case you missed it, there is a moral panic about women not having babies as well.) It’s women being asked to martyr themselves on the cross of heterosexual marriage in order to prop up the status quo.

I’m a conservative and many of my friends are. Not one of us doesn’t believe in “equal pay.” Some conservatives are pro-abortion–but almost no liberals are. I could go on, but for the sake of brevity I won’t. 

Returning to marriage: Successful relationships involve compromise. And that does not mean changing your political stances. What happened to, “We agree to disagree?”

Some liberals–maybe most–don’t get it.

“It’s my way or the highway,” leads to traffic jams filled with cars with no passengers.

Dan Bongino often says, “The problem is we as conservatives think liberals are people with bad ideas. Liberals think conservatives are bad people with ideas. There’s a big difference there.”

Indeed, there is.

John Ruberry, who has been happily married for nearly three decades, regularly blogs at Marathon Pundit.

…And now less than 20 years after the Massachusetts Supreme Court redefined Marriage by a 4-3 vote and Mitt Romney did all he could to let it ride to keep himself as a viable presidential candidate in the eyes of the deep state Democrats are doing this:

As reported by Fox News, the “Amend the Code for Marriage Equality Act” was introduced by Congresswoman Julia Brownley (D-Calif.), and would change many existing laws by removing “husband” and “wife” from pre-existing text.

Less than 20 years and the left is openly trying to do what they pretended for years they had no intention of even thinking of.

Now granted the GOP is unlikely to let this pass but they will not control the house forever.

If you are surprised by any of this then you’re a fool.

April 9th 1988

Since it is 35 years I suspect we should add two more tips to my 30 (33) tips to stay married 35 years.

30 (35) Tips to stay married 30 (35) years. Tip #34 Errands Together

Professor Henry Higgins: damn Damn Damn DAMN! I’ve grown accustomed to her face.

My Fair Lady

Life is full of errands. Sometimes little errands that are pains in the neck. Things you know should be done but you just can’t get motivated. If you see this with your spouse volunteer NOT to do the errand, but to come along.

The company turns the boring errand into a little outing, gives you a chance to talk and makes the errand easier. It become less about doing stuff you don’t feel like doing and about the time together. Plus you never know if your spouse might remember something you’ve forgotten.

Yes it seems like a little thing but those small little things add up to a lot of good years in the long run.

When one of you has to do errands, if the other one volunteers to come along.

30 (35) Tips to stay married 30 (35) years. Tip #35 Let them Sleep (Unless they’re a Bum)

Jesus Christ: [waking to see six children staring down at him] Couldn’t have waited half an hour eh?

The Chosen: Jesus loves the little children 2019

One of the things you tend to appreciate when you get older is a good night’s sleep. A good night’s sleep has a ton of health benefits and can make the rest of the day, even a tough day bearable.

There are times of course when you have to get up early. Appointments with a doctor, with a garage or going to work.

But if you’re spouse is asleep and is enjoying that sleep, let them keep sleeping. Even if they promised the night before to get up and make you your favorite breakfast. You can have breakfast any day but that sleep will make a huge difference in how the rest of the day together will go. And of course you could always have breakfast for lunch or supper. If Denny’s can do it so can you.

Of course if you’re spouse is a lazy bum, then go ahead and wake em but odds are if your spouse is a lazy bum you not going to be get anywhere near 35 of marriage anyways.

The tips so far

UPDATE Links pointing to the old defunct blog fixed.

“Quite obviously you don’t think alike,” Kirk said, “or both of you would have offered that remark simultaneously and in the same words.”

“True but not relevant, Captain, if I may so observe,” said Spock Two, “Even if we thought exactly alike at the moment of creation of the replicate, from then on our experiences differ slightly —beginning, of course, with the simple difference that we occupy different positions in space-time. This will create a divergence in our thinking which will inevitably widen as time goes on.”

“The difference, however, may remain trivial for some significant time to come.” said Spock One.

“We are already disagreeing, are we not?” Spoke Two said coldly, ‘That is already a nontrivial difference.”

James Blish Spock Must Die 1970

This was a piece of advice that came up in conversation with a couple who have been married 47 years who my wife and I was visiting. I was so impressed with this piece of advice that it is our final piece of advice.

“When you have something to convey to your partner, when you’ve told them, ask him or her to repeat back what they understood you to say, not what they heard you say but what they understood you to say.”

No matter what the culture or academics say men and women are different but more than that PEOPLE are different and understand things differently. You can have five eye witnesses to an event and each will have a different spin on what they saw.

People in a marriage are no different, they have different backgrounds, different experiences and different way of looking at things, they can see and hear the same thing and come back with totally different interpretations of it.

So when you say something that’s really important don’t assume he or she thinks you mean what YOU think you mean. Ask them to say how they took it.

This has the potential to save days of potential arguments.

My thanks to Mar Mar and Mike for this input. I wish I had heard it 30 years earlier.

The 30 (33) tips so far