Posts Tagged ‘family’

By John Ruberry

Father’s Day is next Sunday, June 16. 

And today’s is a good day to get a jump start on great songs about dad. Some of these will be familiar to you, others not, and it’s that last category that will make things interesting, I hope.

Leader of the Band: Dan Fogelberg.

One of two Illinois musicians on my list, the other is Steve Goodman, Dan Fogelberg wrote this song about his father, a musician and band leader.

Hold Me My Daddy: XTC.

Most popular music songs are about relationships. You know, boy meets girl or girl loses boy. XTC, well, not so much. But they recorded some such tunes. XTC’s principal songwriter, Andy Partridge, had a troubled relationship with his mother, but less so with his father. Still, there also was conflict between the male Partridges.  He sings here, “This civil war, why are we in it?” Musically, “Hold Me My Daddy” is also a successful leap out of XTC’s comfort zone, it incorporates an Afro Pop style.

A Boy Named Sue: Johnny Cash.

The Man is Black’s relationship with his father, Ray, was portrayed in a harsh light in the movie Walk the Line. But the truth between the two is murky. For his Live at San Quentin album, Johnny Cash crooned of a dysfunctional father meeting his son in the Shel Silverstein-penned song, “A Boy Named Sue.” 

Dear Dad: Chuck Berry.

Often sons–and daughters–seek out their mothers when they need guidance. But automobiles are a dad thing, which is why Chuck Berry speaks to his father about getting a new car. Released in 1965, “Dear Dad” was Berry’s last charting American single until the immature and silly “My Ding-a-Ling,” a number one hit for the legend, seven years later.

Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel): Billy Joel.

Because he has a nasty history of car accidents, Billy Joel is not the type of dad to ask for advice on automobiles, unless, of course, it involves filing an insurance claim. “Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel)” was written for his daughter, Alexa Ray, for his 1993 album, River of Dreams, his last collection of new material in the pop music genre.

My Three Sons: Elvis Costello and the Imposters.

Absentee fathers–because musicians usually travel a lot–are a common topic in dad songs. “My Three Sons” is Elvis Costello’s take on not being there. 

Coal Miner’s Daughter: Loretta Lynn.

The best parents make the most out of a challenging situation. Loretta Lynn tells the story about her dad here. And of course, this song was the title of the Hollywood movie about her storied life.

The Rest of the Dream: John Hiatt:

John Hiatt is yet another one of those artists who hasn’t gotten the support he deserves. “The Rest of the Dream” covers fatherhood, childhood, marriage, and fatherhood again. It’s a multi-generational epic that clocks in under five minutes.

And When I Die: Blood, Sweat & Tears.

Arguably, this is a Mother’s Day song, because “And When I Die” was written by a woman, Laura Nyro. But the best-known version is by Blood, Sweat & Tears. David Clayton-Thomas sings lead here, and the western-movie style instrumentation puts this song on high on my list. Yee-hah! Coincidentally, in 1963, Johnny Cash released an album titled Blood, Sweat, and Tears.

My Old Man: Steve Goodman.

Steve Goodman, best known for his “City of New Orleans,” wrote many other memorable songs. Obviously, “My Old Man” is about his father, a World War II veteran, who died at 58. Sadly, Goodman passed away at a much younger age–he was 36 when cancer claimed him.

Take a peek at these moving lyrics:

I miss my old man tonight
And I wish he was here with me
With his corny jokes and his cheap cigars
He could look you in the eye and sell you a car
That’s not an easy thing to do
But no one ever knew a more charming creature
On this earth than my old man.

Father and Son: Cat Stevens.

Three months ago, here at Da Tech Guy I compiled another musical collection, 13 Great Songs about Getting Old. Cat Stevens, who decades ago changed his name to Yusuf Islam, wrote and sings the only tune that made both of my lists, “Father and Son.” Sometimes the ultimate show of love for a parent is to let a child go.

Cat’s in the Cradle: Harry Chapin.

From Cat Stevens to another Cat. One of music’s all-time great storytellers, Harry Chapin sings about the typical father of the Baby Boom era. A great provider, yes, but many dads then were too busy for their children. Tragically, Chapin never found out if his son would have “grown up just like me,” that is, not having time for him years later. Chapin, like Goodman, died young, at 38, in an automobile accident.

Did I miss a favorite of yours? Probably. Let me know in the comments.

John Ruberry regularly blogs at Marathon Pundit.

Yesterday I went to lunch with my two older brothers. The oldest of us is 74 the middle turns 70 this December and I’m bringing up the rear at 61. We are all very different but we have one big thing in common, one marriage very long. I’ve been married 36, the middle one 39 years and my oldest 54 years. That’s a combined 129 years of being married without a divorce.

I’ve failed at a lot of things in life, but marriage is something all three of us have aced.


Of the three of us my oldest brother is the best in managing money and avoiding debt. In fact he said he had done so well lately he insisted on paying for lunch only asking for a fiver to make the tip come out right. He’s not what anyone would call “rich” but he’s doing OK and his children, grandchildren are pretty much set. He was once been asked what was the secret of his ability to make smart financial decisions and avoiding debts.

His answer, getting married at the age of 20 and having a daughter at 21 forced him to be prudent with his cash and make good decisions to keep his family going.

So many people run away from responsibility at 19 and 20 saying they have their whole life ahead of them but the reality is that if you run toward responsibility when you are young you won’t end up living with your parents with a bunch of college debt and no prospect to have a house.

It’s ironic because that’s the trajectory of George “Georgie” Cooper in Young Sheldon. He ends up getting married before 20, having a child before twenty and having to, while raising his own family help keep things together for his mother and sister with his fathers sudden death and eventually grows up to be, as the older Sheldon describes him “A loser who sells more tires than anyone in Texas”.

My brother never got rich but he also only had the one marriage, advantage Tony.


One of the reasons why neither of my brothers are rich is that both while civil servants who worked for the state for decades were incorruptible. Both had plenty of opportunities for graft if they had chosen to take them and had temptation put out in front of them in terms of money and women etc but turned it down.

They were wise enough to recognize these temptations as traps because once you cross that line those who know you did or find out you did own you. I suspect this drives a lot of the corruption in both the state and federal governments , people crossing the line, people who want favors using that to gain more favors. That’s how a Joe Biden and a Nancy Pelosi become multi millionaires on a member of congress’ salary.

I also suspect this is why Joe Biden and the left is so determined to crush the middle class out of existence. A person who is content with a middle class life isn’t owned by others and can’t be easily manipulated.


I arrived second for our lunch yesterday and found one of my brothers sitting outside in the beautiful day for us and sat with him. I had just had a VERY annoying experience in solving a problem that shouldn’t have existed that had put me off and relished the chance to vent about it to my brother outside of other people’s hearing. It was just what I needed at the time.

One of the hardest things about being the generation whose turn it is to die is you start to run out of people to vent to. You don’t have parents or elders for advice because you’re the elder and the number of people who you’ve known all your life decreases with age as people start dropping dead.

I suspect I won’t have both of my brothers for more than a few years at most. So I plan on taking advantage of this and having regular bi-monthly lunches with them while we still can.

My youngest son realizes this dynamic as well. He walked over to the house after his work yesterday and we spent a hour chatting and then hitting the local 99’s to watch the Bruins be eliminated from the playoffs on a late goal with under 2 minutes (their specialty) It was two hours of talk, chat and company and I found myself talking to him about the times my dad would drive me to the nearest comic book store in Harvard Square which was 60 miles away (this was in the 70’s when such stores were rare) those were good times. My youngest is a lot like my father, gregarious, cooks up a storm and seems to be loved by everyone around him and he seems to recognize the value of this time we get together while it’s still in play.

That’s wisdom.


One of the few really bright points about the cuts and work and my current shift. My best mass window is the 6 PM mass right after work on Sunday which happens to be the mass my sons attend together weekly. So I am spoiled in terms of time with them lately. Of course at the end of a 10 hour day that starts a 5:17 AM I’m not up for much

Today however I have off, alas my wife will be working but both sons are free so we’ll be heading up to Manchester on a road trip to the Tycoon Arcade (we talked about them during my Pintastic ne 2024 coverage)

While my youngest is into the pinball scene my oldest oldest isn’t a big arcade guy but again it’s the time together that is of value. Last weekend DaWife and I went with him to help setup at a New Hampshire Renaissance Fair where he was volunteering to spend time with a friend. The time together was of great value and as he grows closer to a decision on a vocation within the church these times together become of even more value because if that what he is called to such times will likely cease to exist.

That’s also one of the advantages of not actually having a machine, it gives an excuse to do something and makes such a trip more enjoyable. Because when it comes down to it no matter what you have, whether it’s pinball machines or games or anything else it’s pretty much stuff and how much of the stuff you have do you really use on a regular basis? One of the best parts of getting older is the realization that stuff does not bring happiness. It can be the basis for a pleasant memory but it’s the memory, not the stuff that produces the smile.

I made some pleasant memories with my brothers yesterday. I’ll make some pleasant memories with my sons today. Take my advice and if your day is free or if you have a free day coming up, use it to make pleasant memories with people you like while they are available. It will pay a higher dividend than any of the stuff you aquire.

I have five living kids at home, and would have an additonal six year old girl with Down Syndrome had she not died after a failed heart surgery. I also have a pretty odd mix of friends, most of whom don’t have a family anywhere near my size, so I get asked a lot of questions about raising a large family. The most common questions come from younger couples asking about when the right, perfect time is to start a family.

And well…there isn’t one.

Someone might tell you to at least wait till after high school, which sounds like pretty good advice. After all, you probably aren’t married in high school, need to finish your diploma, and let’s be honest, most high schoolers don’t think through such life altering choices as having a baby.

Yet I know a few families that were high school sweethearts that married in or pretty near to high school graduation. My mom was one of them. She was married at 18 to my dad (who was graduating college and 4 years her senior) and somehow managed to successfully raise three kids while traveling the world with a Marine Corps officer. Compare that with too many of today’s graduates that can barely write English papers and brag about doing their laundry only a few days late with hashtag adulting on social media. Perhaps that says more about the current state of education than family planning though.

We could pick more times: after you finish your degree, after to start your first job, after you “settle down” (whatever that means), or after you are “ready” (seriously, what the heck does that mean??). But every time you try to nail down a right time, you’ll find lots of counter examples of people starting families that don’t follow that logic that come out just fine.

Which is why there isn’t a perfect time to start a family. Sadly, I see too many good, family-oriented couples searching for the perfect time to start a family. Many of them pray over it, but their prayers revolve around asking God to tell them when to start a family, like they expect some booming voice to emanate from the clouds declaring “Have intercourse at 6:35 pm on July 12th!” or some other nonsense like that. This delay and worry is part of the reason people are waiting later and later to start families, which makes it harder to have children as your biological clock only runs at full tilt for so long.

The recent SCOTUS decision is likely making many couples revisit this question. Abortion and contraception make it appear to give us control of when we have children. Neither does, or certainly doesn’t without consequences. Accepting the challenges, and the joys, of having a family will mean accepting it on the timeline that it comes to you.

This post represents the views of the author and not those of the Department of Defense, Department of the Navy, or any other government agency. If you enjoyed this article, please consider donating to this blog or purchasing one of the author’s books.

…but I’d like to thank everyone who has hit the tip jar this weekend, that managed to pay for the rental and Stacy has been hitting the Gas so that has covered the trip.

Not to mention a huge thank you to the Lonely conservative and her husband who are slightly less lonely since they are allowing Stacy and I not only Crash but allowing us to snarf their internet to allow us to post.

Finally as I was writing this post I found out that my wife’s Aunt Shirley just died today. She single-handedly saved out honeymoon when Citi Travel didn’t take care of our booking. She and Uncle Bob gave us the use of their guest house and their spare car and the money we saved became the down payment for our house.

We can never repay her for that kindness and we will never forget.