With thanks to Tim Blair for the idea and Kipling who did all the work.
Take up the Green Man’s burden–
Send forth the best ye breed–
Go bind your children to exile
To serve your planet’s need;
To wait in conference meetings,
And airports expanses–
To change the western masses,
From carbon them to wean.
Take up the Green Man’s burden–
In patience to abide,
To ease the fear of Polar Bears
And all the creatures mild;
By dire speech and warnings,
A hundred times made plain
To stop that corporate profit,
For mother Gaia’s gain.
Take up the Green Man’s burden–
Impose your ways to bring,
And end for planets glory–
Those common comfort things.
Escew the modern toilet,
Water/paper,that they use,
And change to greener lightbulbs,
In cool neat windy tubes.
Take up the Green Man’s burden–
And reap his old reward:
The jobs at Boards and NGO,
And make old Berkley proud–
At dinners, conferences and parties
express your deep concern:–
“And oh that private Jet I took…
From Carbon Credits earned!”
Take up the Green Man’s burden–
Ye dare not stoop to less–
Nor worry too loud on Freedom
The movement it knows best;
By all ye cry or whisper,
By all ye leave or do,
Make the masses one with nature
As ‘fore population grew.
Take up the Green Man’s burden–
Remove their childish ways–
The electricity, heat, and travel,
Those common people crave.
In schools and Media make them see
That Red, oops green is true.
Then they will learn to live and love,
The benevolence of your rule!
Take up the Green Man’s burden–
The savage ways of green–
Cull surplus population
For Earth’s abiding need;
And when your goal is nearest
The end that Al Gore sought,
Watch e-mails and true science
Bring all your hopes to naught.
Update: Camp of the Saints links, thanks muchly.
Update 2: Mad Minerva links too, thanks.
Da Techguy's (no longer backup) Blog 