Archive for the ‘culture’ Category

Mr. Spock: Mother, how can you have lived on Vulcan so long, married a Vulcan, raised a son on Vulcan, without understanding what it means to be a Vulcan

Star Trek Journey to Babel 1967

It is axiomatic that the more you do something, or someone the more familiar you become with it. This is true with your spouse as well.

It seems almost too obvious to mention but every day you are married you are building up your personal database on your spouse. The longer you live with a person the better you learn their habits, their likes their dislikes, the type of things that set them off and the type of things that make them smile.

This knowledge is a vital tool in your quest for a long successful marriage particularly. No amount of advice, from any source (even this post) is more important than the 1st hand knowledge that you will acquire on a daily basis simply by living together.

Pay attention to this info, make a mental note of it, take it to heart. If you do then not only will your ability to navigate the shoals of life together but it will make the decisions you make together easier to come by.

That simple experience that you get every day is a unique advantage in life, take advantage of it.

The 30 tips so far

 ♪  I just called to say I love you, I just called to say to say how much I care. I just called to say I love you and I mean it from the bottom of my heart ♬ 

Stevie Wonder: Song: I just called to say I love you 1984

Last year DaWife and I went to see the Red Sox sweep the Atlanta Braves in Atlanta and after the series took a run to EWTN to meet up with a lady by the name of Lucy who is familiar to EWTN viewers as the lady who is at the daily mass each morning wearing a white alb.

I interviewed her for my Interviews with Immigrants series but she also took the time to speak to me and my wife and gave us a bit of advice.

Lucy told us to make sure that every single day we tell each other that we love each other and thank each other for being our spouse.

Now this might seem a rather trifling thing but I think it’s not, particularly if it’s at the start of the day.

As we already noted first impressions matter, when the 1st impression of the day is anger, it’s easy for anger to come from it.

But when the 1st impression of the day is positive a different direction beings.

I think Lucy’s advice is worth including here with one small caveat.

You can consider either starting OR ending the day with that expression of love and gratitude.

A day that starts well has a great chance of ending well but a day that ends well can make the difference for the day that will follow.

And remember none of us are promised tomorrow, so if you start or end the day with that expression of love and gratitude if that last day comes unexpectedly, you will not have to regret failing to say those words when you had the chance.

So a hat tip to Lucy for the one Tip that came from outside our marriage

The 30 tips to date:

Old Lodge Skins: Am I still in this world?

Little Big Man: Yes Grandfather

Old Lodge Skins: Egh. I was afraid of that.

Little Big Man 1970

There are going to be days that you start angry.

Maybe you had a bad day at work, maybe you got up 1st and saw your spouse or one of the kids left something out that they weren’t supposed to or maybe you just woke up in a pissy mood.

The surest way to make sure things stay that way is to pass that bad start off.

It’s axiomatic that 1st impressions are very important, that’s not just when it comes to meeting people for the 1st time but it also applies to individual days.

If when you see your spouse the 1st things out of your mouth are a scold, that start is going to frame the rest of the day for the entire family and if it happens often it has the potential to make a lot of trouble in the long run.

Life can be really tough, don’t make the day tougher by starting it the wrong way.

(Yes it’s been another long wait between tips but sometimes the tips come to mind and sometimes they don’t)

The 30 tips so far

If the world hates you, realize that it hated me first.

If you belonged to the world, the world would love its own; but because you do not belong to the world, and I have chosen you out of the world, the world hates you.

Remember the word I spoke to you,  ‘No slave is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.

And they will do all these things to you on account of my name,  because they do not know the one who sent me.

If I had not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin; but as it is they have no excuse for their sin.

Whoever hates me also hates my Father.

John 15:18-23


There’s an old saying that you don’t hear much anymore “Your best friend should tell you.” It refers to when you might have bad breath or are in the process of doing something really destructive. Most people will say nothing and you might ignore your family, that’s when a best friend, a person who really loves you steps up and tells you what you need to know.

Fr. Robert Morey is acting like Joe Biden’s best friend.

The job of a priest is tough, it’s one of the toughest jobs in the world, you are really on 24/7, you forgo many of the pleasures of life, you have to serve those around you ,obey those above you, spend time constantly in prayer and while doing all those thing fight all the temptations and efforts of the other side attempting to draw you to sin that every human being has to deal with knowing that if you fall you can take a lot of folks, particularly those weak in the faith with you.

But boiled down to the most basic task a priest is a doctor for a human soul and like a medical doctor there are time he has to deliver a message that people don’t want to hear. As the Lord said to Ezekiel (Emphasis mine)

Thus the word of the LORD came to me: Son of man, I have appointed you a watchman for the house of Israel. When you hear a word from my mouth, you shall warn them for me.

If I say to the wicked man, You shall surely die; and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his wicked conduct so that he may live: that wicked man shall die for his sin, but I will hold you responsible for his death.

If, on the other hand, you have warned the wicked man, yet he has not turned away from his evil nor from his wicked conduct, then he shall die for his sin, but you shall save your life.

If a virtuous man turns away from virtue and does wrong when I place a stumbling block before him, he shall die. He shall die for his sin, and his virtuous deeds shall not be remembered; but I will hold you responsible for his death if you did not warn him.

When, on the other hand, you have warned a virtuous man not to sin, and he has in fact not sinned, he shall surely live because of the warning, and you shall save your own life.

Ezekiel 3:17-21


Thus if a priest fails to warn a member of the flock about to commit mortal sin or consistently commuting mortal sin publicly he is failing his flock.

And that brings us to Joe Biden and Fr. Morey

In holy scripture St. Paul explicitly states the price of receiving the Eucharist in an unworthy fashion (emphasis mine)

For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus, on the night he was handed over, took bread, and, after he had given thanks, broke it and said, “This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”  In the same way also the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.  “For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the death of the Lord until he comes.

Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord. 

A person should examine himself, and so eat the bread and drink the cup.  For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself.

St Paul’s 1st Letter to the Corinthians Cor 11 23-29


(That last sentence btw is why non-Catholic can’t receive as they think the Eucharist is “symbolic” rather than the actual body & blood of Christ). So we are dealing with Mortal Sin, and not just mortal sin but PUBLIC mortal sin and Church law is rather explicit on the subject:

He told LifeSiteNews.com, “I don’t understand the continual debate that goes on about it. There’s not a question that a Catholic who publicly, and after admonition, supports pro-abortion legislation is not to receive Holy Communion and is not to be given Holy Communion.”


The Church’s law is very clear,” said Archbishop Burke, who was appointed last year by Pope Benedict XVI as the head of the Church’s highest court, the Apostolic Signatura. “The person who persists publicly in grave sin is to be denied Holy Communion, and it [Canon Law] doesn’t say that the bishop shall decide this. It’s an absolute.”

via Fr. Z

So when Joe Biden presents himself for holy communion when proudly persisting in a state of mortal sin, what is the duty of a priest? Well Christ answered that in the final question that was put to him:

One of the scribes, when he came forward and heard them disputing and saw how well he had answered them, asked him, “Which is the first of all the commandments?”

Jesus replied, “The first is this: ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is Lord alone!  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

The scribe said to him, “Well said, teacher. You are right in saying, ‘He is One and there is no other than he.’  And ‘to love him with all your heart, with all your understanding, with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself’ is worth more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

And when Jesus saw that (he) answered with understanding, he said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” And no one dared to ask him any more questions.

Mark 12:28-34


Fr. Morey by his actions obeyed both commandments.

Admonishing the sinner is a spiritual work of mercy and to do any less would be like a doctor refusing to tell a patient in his care that his actions put his life in danger. Thus he showed love of neighbor by not giving Joe Biden Holy Communion in a public state of mortal sin and thus not letting him bring condemnation on himself, at least for that moment.

Furthermore Fr. Morey showed love of God by remembering the Lord’s words to Ezekiel and saved himself by being the watchman and obeying the laws of the church when it would have been a whole lot easier to do otherwise. He is going to get a lot of grief and notoriety over this. The national press will go after him, some in his parish will go after him and there will be those in the church who do so as well. Yet he was more interested in the love of God than the love of man.

But DaTechGuy you ask how can he assume that Mr. Biden was in a state of mortal sin? Doesn’t he have to give him the benefit of the doubt? Now it’s true, many of us including me, struggle with sin, even mortal sin and sacramental confession is available for those who do. Shouldn’t a priest allow for that? Fr. Z has a great post on the subject using the example of a couple in a 2nd marriage who stay together for the kids and agree to live as brother and sister:

Now I will track back to what I asked about Communion at the top.
What is it that they want?


Communion with its holy effects? Or do they want to be seen receiving Communion?
Do they want the Eucharist or the “white thing” that symbolizes affirmation?


If they really get the Eucharist, with the full implications of receiving as Paul describes in 1 Cor 11:27 (“Therefore whosoever shall eat this bread, or drink the chalice of the Lord unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and of the blood of the Lord.”), and if they really get the Four Last Things, then … would they really want to put at risk their eternal salvation by sacrilegious reception?


If they have been working with a sound priest who helps them to understand what mortal sin is and what matrimony is according to the Church’s teachings – BECAUSE THAT’S HIS JOB! – would they really want to receive Communion in their irregular state?

Or course there may be times when they fail in their determination to live in continence and they have sexual relations. What then?
Simple.  They go to confession and start over 
with a firm purpose of amendment.
That’s what we all do when we sin in any way.  We go to confession with a firm purpose of amendment and start over with God’s help. 

In some Amoris scenario, they might have to live in a near occasion of sin, but for the sake of care of children, etc., they have to bear their Cross.
However, there is a rock solid principle that cannot be set aside:

No firm purpose of amendment, no Communion.
My solution, given the aforementioned conditions are met: occasional Holy Communion in private, outside of public Mass, away from observing eyes.

Now it’s certainly possible, though highly improbable, that Joe Biden had just before mass, confessed his sins before the mass and the expressed a firm purpose to amend his life and stop publicly advancing mortal sin as a virtue. Furthermore given the poor job of catechists that the church has done since the 60’s it’s even possible, or in my mind even probable that one or more Bishop(s) has told old Joe (and Pelosi & Cuomo etc/al) over the years that what’s he’s doing is OK and the Biden and others like him really believes they can push and promote mortal sin and still receive communion with no danger to his soul

But Fr. Morey’s job is to shepherd the souls in his care and by presenting himself for communion old Joe by definition became one of those souls Fr. Morey didn’t look for an improbable out for himself. Instead for the sake of his own soul and the sake of all the souls in his care, including at that time Joe Biden caring more about his soul than about any blowback he might get he did his job.

In other words: love wins!