Posts Tagged ‘conspiracy theories’

By John Ruberry

After a long day at work earlier this month I clicked on the “Surprise Me” feature on Netflix. What popped up was Mike Myers’ new vehicle, The Pentaverate.

“Well,” I said to myself, “this might be pretty good.” 

In fact, The Pentaverate doesn’t even measure up to “pretty bad.” The six episode limited series is one of the worst shows I’ve suffered through. Oh, somehow I managed to view a couple episodes of The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer. I know about awful.

Warning: There are numerous spoilers and some rather disgusting things that I will mention in my review of this Netflix series.

The origin of The Pentaverate dates back to a throwaway line from Myers’ second film, So I Married an Axe Murderer, where the father of Myers’ lead character, also played by Myers, claims that a secret society, the Pentaverate, a five-man cabal, which at one time included Colonel Sanders as a member, rules the world. In this series narrator Jeremy Irons tells us, the original members of the Pentaverate discovered in 1347, contrary to the belief of the Catholic Church, it was fleas that spread the bubonic plague. 

As the first episode begins, the newest member of the group of five, Dr. Hobart Clark (Keegan-Michael Key), a scientist, is accepted into the Pentaverate after he is kidnapped. Apparently, he is the first non-white fellow of the all-male group, replacing a member who mysteriously died. The other members are played by Myers. Lord Lordington, an elderly Englishman, Bruce Baldwin, an Australian media mogul, who of course is based on Rupert Murdoch, Shep Gordon, a manager of various rock acts, a real person who is the subject of a documentary directed by Myers, and Mishu Ivanov, a Russian oligarch and Vladimir Putin crony.

Warning! Not-safe-for-work language in the trailer.

But Myers isn’t done with his roles. The lead character of The Pentaverate is Ken Scarborough, a television reporter who wears plaid sportscoats; he is a quirky throwback from the 1970s who does man-on-the-street interviews of other oddballs, while overshadowing them. Scarborough works for, wait for it, Toronto-based CACA news. Yep, caca. 

The other four Pentaverate members manufacture a story that Dr. Clark, who was invited into the secret society because they believe he can reverse climate change, is dead. Clark’s phony passing occurs while attempting to mimic an internet video fad–kissing your own anus. Clark’s room at Pentaverate headquarters is guarded by a sasquatch, who immediately defecates outside the scientist’s door. 

In addition to a Shrek cameo, Myers plays two other characters, internet personality Rex Smith, a stand-in for Alex Jones, and Anthony Lansdowne, a conspiracy theorist from New Hampshire. 

Besides being an assault on good taste, The Pentaverate is an attack on right-wingers, with the implied message that all conservatives are conspiracy whackos like Lansdowne. He is a believer, or has been a believer, in QAnon, Pizzagate, and the Illuminati. His last words as he falls to his death is, “But what about her emails?” 

Lansdowne, in his bumper-sticker laden van, which not surprisingly has a malfunctioning portable toilet, drives Scarborough and his pre-woke Doctor Who-like young female companion, Reilly Clayton (Lydia West) to New York City, which looks nothing like today’s NYC, but more like your standard Doctor Who “future metropolis.” Scarborough, recently fired by CACA, is convinced by Clayton and Lansdowne to infiltrate Pentaverate headquarters, and he does so after a painful penis tug initiation. 

Clark, following an intimate evening with the Pentaverate’s executive assistant Patty Davis (Debi Mazar) in the Moon Room studio–did the Pentaverate fake the moon landings?–suddenly dies, this time for real. He is promptly replaced by casino billionaire Skip Cho (Ken Jeong). Oh, I have never thought Jeong was funny. Jeong recently showed his true political colors after childishly storming off the set of The Masked Singer after Rudy Giuliani was revealed as a contestant.

Myers seemingly hasn’t emotionally moved on from being an 11-year-old. Flatulence jokes are among the things that ruined his cinema take on Dr. Seuss’ Cat in the Hat, a children’s film, by the way. Scatological so-called humor also undermined another Myers movie bomb, The Love Guru

Outside of Myers’ fading fame, why did Netflix greenlight this debacle? Could it be that woke Netflix executives fell in love with The Pentaverate’s snide attacks on conservatives, who they probably believe are personified by Smith and Lansdowne? I have liberal friends. Really, I do. And many of them insist that I take marching orders from Alex Jones.

Here’s a tip for Netflix and Myers: the first rule of comedy is that comedies need to be funny.

Netflix lost 200,000 subscribers in the first quarter of 2022. Its stock value plummeted 35-percent last month. Yes, when you go woke you go broke. And I can’t think of a single Netflix dramatic series that is aimed at conservatives. Longmire was the closest show I can think of, but production of it ended in 2017, and Longmire was originally an A&E offering. And as I wrote in last week’s review of Ozark, that otherwise quite enjoyable show contorted itself to find ways to attack Republicans.

Over 70 million Americans voted for Donald Trump in 2020. That’s a lot of viewers, Netflix. We don’t live in vans with clogged toilets. We own televisions. 

Cloying use of easter eggs, that is, references to other works that do nothing to advance the story or add laughs–assuming of course there is even one laugh in The Pentaverate–is also another problem here. Winks to other Myers’ works, along with yet another tired replay of HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey, as well as Game of Thrones, are simply annoying. Rob Lowe, a veteran of several Myers movies, makes an unnecessary appearance.

Myers’ acting, outside of his sympathetic portrayal of Scarborough, is subpar. In his review of The Cat in the Hat, Roger Ebert noticed that at times Myers sounded a bit like his Linda Richman “Coffee Talk” character from SNL. The use of convincing accents is supposed to be one of Myers’ strengths, but his Lansdowne character’s accent, rather than sounding like what you’ll hear from a rustic New Englander, varies from a Canadian to a New Yorker style of speech–that is, when Lansdowne isn’t coming across like Wayne Campbell from Wayne’s World.

Oh, when there is a crack within the five members of the Pentaverate, who do you think is behind it? Why of course! It’s the casino billionaire and the Murdoch stand-in. 

I hated The Pentaverate. Hated, hated, hated. If you have any sense of taste or decency, you will hate it too. 

You have been warned. 

Oh, if you think I am just a grumpy old man with a minority opinion on this actual sh*t show, as of May 15, the average critic score on Rotten Tomatoes is just 20 percent. Only once in the last week have I noticed The Pentaverate ranking as a top-ten most viewed program on Netflix. And based on the CGI and the A-List (to some people) cast, I imagine Netflix wasted a lot of money on this fiasco.

The Pentaverate is rated TV-MA for full frontal (possibly with use of prosthetics) nudity, animals engaged in sex, violence, suicide, adult situations, foul language, and scatological references. Well, at least no one smokes in it. 

John Ruberry regularly blogs at Marathon Pundit.

This pandemic has been built upon a foundation of lies and mistruths,  After about a month this became apparent to those of us who actually question what information we receive from the government, so called experts, mainstream media, and social media.  Things just didn’t add up to those of  us who do not blindly follow what those in authority were spewing about the Wuhan Virus and the draconian measures governments at all levels were imposing on their people. 

Those of us free thinkers seek news and information from a very wide pool of knowledge. We examine and evaluate evidence from all sides.  We make up our own minds about what we discover, after careful deliberation.  What we discovered angered us because we learned that just about everything governments and experts told us was a pack of lies and untruths.  There was no scientific or medical basis at all for the draconian lockdowns, mask mandates, vaccine mandates, vaccine passports, and social distancing.

We shared what we we discovered on social media and were labeled conspiracy theorists and science deniers.  We were constantly fact checked by FaceBook and Twitter, and had the bandwidth of our accounts severely limited, or even suspended, for sharing “misinformation,”

A couple of weeks ago Joe Biden actually spoke the truth.  He admitted that there is no federal solution to the Coronavirus pandemic.  It is as if certain members the medical establishment took this as a cue to actually begin telling the truth.

For about twenty months all of us conspiracy theorists have stated that hospitals were inflating the number of people hospitalized with Coronavirus by not differentiating between those who were hospitalized with Coronavirus, and those that were hospitalized for other reasons, and subsequently tested positive for that virus.  New York City was the first to break the dam by telling the truth on this.  Check out this tweet.

This article Massachusetts to Change How It Reports Coronavirus Hospitalizations, very pleasantly surprised me because it confirms the same truth.

Nearly two years into the pandemic, Massachusetts hospitals will make a distinction between patients who were hospitalized “for” coronavirus and those who were hospitalized “with” the virus.

Massachusetts’ Department of Public Health (DPH) announced on Thursday the coronavirus reporting changes would begin next week, noting whether hospitalizations are “primary or incidental” to coronavirus.

Fellow conspiracy theorists have also been stating that all of the mandates are a tremendous over reaction because Coronavirus is only truly fatal to those in poor medical condition to begin with.  The CDC director confirmed we were telling the truth.

We’ve been stating for many months that the mRNA vaccines were ineffective, proving that vaccine mandates were not backed by science or medicine.  We were right.  Check out this article: Pfizer CEO: Our Vaccines Offer ‘Limited, If Any Protection’

Speaking during remarks to a J.P. Morgan healthcare conference this week, Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla openly stated current vaccines the company developed for Wuhan coronavirus offer “limited, if any” protection against contracting current variants of the disease. He then encouraged booster shots. 

We the conspiracy theorists have been stating very forcefully that the mRNA vaccines are dangerous, causing heart complications and blood clotting.  I predict that in the near future we will be proved right by the medical establishment. 

Namely the outage and the weirdness I was getting in firefox has to do with my discussing the mystery woman of CPAC?

Considering that Smitty had to deal with a Mr. Philip Berg for a bit today any conspiracy theory is possible.